One thing that consoles me about getting older is that I have gathered wisdom with my age or at least I hope so!  Like all of us, years of situations and relationships have been great learning experiences and these learning experiences I take into my next situations or relationships.  We learn and gather information and then we try to keep only what is valuable and useful.  That is wisdom to me.  I also have learned that the only sure thing is that NOTHING IS FOR SURE!  Just when you think that the planets are aligning for you and things are going your way, you can blink your eyes and POOF! It all changes!  But the same happens when you think everything is NOT going your way. You might think that everything is going to hell and yet some miracle suddenly happens!

I have been thinking about how this goes for our romantic relationships, too!  Being in a relationship is like playing Russian Roulette.  You can put all your chips on one number and color and you see the ball bouncing around as the roulette spins. There it goes spinning fast.  You can’t really see the numbers but you do see the white ball moving from black to red from 10 to 4 to 16 until finally it stops on a totally different number and totally different color than you chose.  You lose all your chips.  If you are lucky, you are left with one last lucky chip. You feel miserable, lost and a loser. You put that single chip on a random number.  You feel hopeless.  And suddenly, VOILA!!!! You win and the house pays double and you start winning again!!

I love my life and I love my work.   My store gives me the opportunity to talk to so many people. I enjoy talking with couples and asking them how many years they have been married and, of course, I get all different numbers as you can imagine from 1 to 60. I like to ask these couples to reveal the recipe for a long and successful marriage.  You should see the facial expressions I get!  You would think that I am asking them what is going to be the next winning lottery number!

My personal theory about a good relationship is willingness. To me WILLINGNESS encompasses so much; willingness to be patient, willingness to forgive, willingness to be selfless etc. . . . Of course, I hear all the expected answers from couples: good communication, tolerance, open mindedness. We all know this.  However, I think there are a lot of other LOGICAL things that make for successful marriages or partnerships.  Here’s a list!

  1. Having your own bathrooms.
  2. Spending time and engaging with the other’s family.
  3. Enjoying the same restaurants or foods at home.
  4. Loving the same pet.
  5. Having an affinity for the other’s hygiene habits (or non-habits)!
  6. Equally seeing the importance of staying attractive for one another.
  7. Allowing the other to drive in peace with no passenger commentary!
  8. Happily participating in parties or movies or anything the other likes to do (even though the other one doesn’t particularly enjoy it)!
  9. Decide that if politics are discussed, make sure you are on the same page. Otherwise, don’t talk politics.
  10. Having the same moral values.
  11. Biting your tongue when your partner contradicts you in front of your kids.
  12. If one of you needs to talk, let that person talk even if you are fake listening for hours!
  13. If you are a shoe lover, always have enthusiasm for every new pair your partner brings home!

The list can go on and on. Will you help me to increase it?  Write me and let me know what yours are.

I have been absolutely riveted by the winter Olympics this year in Korea.  For me, a walk down Canyon Road is an intense workout!! Honestly, I do not stress about it.  It is what it is.  At least I CAN walk!  I know that I have other talents!!
I love watching these amazing athletes. I wish I could spend one day in their shoes!  I would love to feel what it is like to train hard . . . to take myself to my most physical capacity . . . feel the win . . . feel the loss.  By the time these athletes are qualified to be in the Olympics they have had a whole life of dedication to their sport.  Even the fifteen year old Olympian has known the same kind of dedication as the 40 year old Olympian.

I love to admire the athlete’s look of determination; their fit bodies; the concentration they emit and the elegance and grace of each sport. Their bodies are truly a tribute to human kind.  Let’s remember the Greeks who strove for perfection in the human form.  They used athletes as models. For someone like me who appreciates beautiful design and fashion, I adore their hi-tech, slick sport suits and the aerodynamic eye protection they wear.

I have seen tiny women like the gold medal winning and petite Japanese 500 meter speed skater who just killed it with her fierceness on the ice.  I saw the American Bobsled Team walk away unscathed after their cart tilted at the speed of 80 MPH! When we saw them crash, the whole world held their breath until they stood up like nothing had happened. But the team that won my heart was the Jamaican Bobsled Team. You read it well: JAMAICA !!!!!!!!  I was so impressed by their story.  They had the drive, tenacity, faith and CREATIVITY to figure out how to do the sport even without the right facility or equipment!

I also find amusing that regardless of which country, gender or sport, all the athletes look like a mess when they remove their hi-tech head gear.  They are all sweaty and their hair is a mess and they are ALL worried about what their hair looks like!  LOL!  Of course, they were just putting 200% of themselves into their sport!!  (Maybe the figure skaters still look fine).  You can see them all preoccupied with fixing their hair even if they just won a gold medal – or lost one – they are all worried about their hair dos!!
But in this very diametrically opposite world, we have had extremely sad news.  The violence happening in our schools, innocent kids being gunned down.  It’s unbearable. The National Rifle Associate recorded a total of $11.7 billion earned last year with a $993 million PROFIT!  Like everyone else, especially the students themselves wish that this money was invested in sports and education for our youth. I must say that I am biased about this subject since I have my nieces in college and my grandchildren in the high schools. I’m just like YOU.  I want my children to be safe AND I want them to get the best education.

Right now there is a terrible environment of fear.  The kids are fearful going to school.  The parents fear sending their kids to school.  Just in New Mexico several schools have been receiving threats and everyone is terrified.

A couple of weeks ago, I was coming back from a business trip and as we were in line to board the plane, I had a quick glimpse of the news on the television. They were broadcasting a threat that was occurring in one of the universities in Florida. My heart stopped since my niece is at the University of Tampa!  But I was being pushed along to board the flight. Throughout the whole flight the worst thoughts came through my mind.  It seemed like an eternity before we finally landed and found out she was not in that particular university.

We have to live with this new reality…
I know it is too late for me to learn how to be a figure skater or a speed skater, bobsledder or slalom skier.  In the meantime, I will continue to admire them and wonder what it would be like to be in their shoes.  They might be wondering what it is like to have such an amazing shoe closet at their fingertips!!

I love hearing from you!


Finally, the holidays are over!  Ummm, yea. It has taken me all of this time to finally have all the holiday paraphernalia boxed up and put away in storage!

Speaking for myself, the holidays went by happily and smoothly. No drama, no fights, no uncomfortable dinner . . . well just “poquito.” I did not have issues this year with any immediate family, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends or any ex-in laws, and let’s not forget business related exes!   But I definitely can’t say the same for what I have observed with other people. Every year it is the same.  Holidays seem to bring out the worst in people and relationships.

My mother always said, “How can we expect peace in this world if we can’t have peace in our own families?”  I have to admit that there is much truth in her wise words. When I ask other people how the holidays went for them, they roll their eyes and say things like, “I wanted to kill my sister the entire time” or “My mother was very difficult!” or “One more day of holidays and I would have had to be placed in a mental hospital!” And, of course, I heard multiple times,  “I am glad the holidays are over!”

It’s true that familial relationships are hard.  Sometimes our friends are closer to us than our own siblings.  We can find understanding, compassion and simple friendship in others before we find it in our families so it seems.   The stories I hear about people’s in-laws are mild compared to the stories written by Stephen King!  As human beings we are such unnecessarily complicated creatures!  Most of the time we make our own situations worse than they need to be. We hold grudges from years and years ago and around Christmas times these grudges all take a bigger shape that looms over us and clouding up the festivities.  They are hidden scars, deep inside our brains and hearts and they keep us from enjoying ourselves. They leave us emotionally exhausted and we wonder what the hell is happening!

The great irony is that ultimately we all want the same things:  to enjoy ourselves, each other, to have and to be enough.

The Universe chose that I be raised in a country, city, school and family that was very Catholic.  My Christmas memories are actually very joyful ones. I remember the big nativity that we would put up in our home. I would envision what it would have been like during the time that Christ was born. I remember the grandiose and moving  Christmas Mass at Church. My school used to put up “Posadas” various nights in December. It was so festive!

But, it is not fair for me to compare those memories with what my eyes witness now as an adult.  Adulthood changes everything.  We become involved in the conflicts and the tensions.  As a kid, you are oblivious to this. As adults, we have the pressure of being responsible for the presents, holiday dinners and decorations. We have to make a decision if we are going to do the Canyon Rd walk or not?Or just the lights on the Plaza or dinner first?  Or dinner after?  Should we go to midnight mass? No time? Where should we open presents?  In the car in between one dinner and another?!  It’s too cold out to walk. I don’t have the right shoes like you but I am hungry!!!!! ARGH!

Just for a minute let’s forget about all of the holiday issues.  Close your eyes and remove the holiday parties. Remove the conflicts. Remove the pressure to buy gifts. Remove any decorative decision making…..….We are 11 months from the next Christmas. Dowe want to change any of these things? You know what?!  I don’t think so!  It wouldn’t be the Holidays if we didn’t have all that.  It is what is!  Just embrace and enjoy!

I can still hear him loud and clear.

My father was well known for using this expression, “El hubiera no existe.”  Basically, it translates to more or less:  forget about the “what-ifs” or the “should’ves” because they don’t exist.  He used to get aggravated if any of us seven kids would whine saying “I should’ve done THIS” or “I should have done THAT!!”

This year, on the night of the 24th during the Farrolito Walk on Canyon Road, I had a moment I keep going back to with the “I should’ve…”.  Everyone was in the holiday spirit. The weather was beautiful – not too cold but with enough of a chilly bite in the air so that it felt like Christmas.  The merry spirit of Noel with the “I love you’s, you love me’s, let’s be cheery was in the air floating through the sculptures of Canyon Rd. While we were strolling with a group of friends, I saw out of the corner of my eye a stalled couple.  It was hard to discern what was happening but it appeared that she was fainting. Like the Good Samaritan I think I am, I rushed over to see how I could help them.  The man had managed to get her to sit on the cold sidewalk and was hovering over her.  I asked him what was wrong and how I could help.  He was curt with me and answered back that there were too many people and that she was confused.  I immediately felt this need to leave them alone and give them some privacy.  Strangely enough I turned around and walked away from the couple.

I re-joined my friends who were enjoying the evening so that we could continue walking through Canyon Road. We were quickly submerged into the crowd and I no longer could see the couple.

My reaction has been haunting me since then!  What was I thinking?  What happened to the woman?  Was she okay?  Did they really need help but were too shy to ask for it?  Why did I leave?! I SHOULD have stayed. I SHOULD have tried to help him. I SHOULD have found someone else to help if they didn’t want my help. I SHOULD’VE, I SHOULD’VE , I SHOULD’VE!  But it’s too late.  Like my father used to say, “El hubiera no existe.”  Although it makes sense – I shouldn’t dwell.  It’s over.  It’s past. I still feel guilty. My father would not have been proud of me. In my head I explain to my dad, “I’m sorry. I’m generally more assertive!” Something did lead me to believe that the woman needed privacy.

This year I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions. No diets. No exotic trips. No “re”designing myself.  However, after my encounter on Canyon Road, I do have one focus for the year 2018: I AM GOING TO TRY TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT ANY “I SHOULD’VES.” This year will be about action and no regret.  Let’s do it!


I would love to hear from you….write me at guada755@outlook.comt

It is 5:45pm and it is time for me to meet one of my good friends. We are going to have a cocktail, catch up on our lives and talk about politics, fashion, men, fashion, men, politics, men, fashion, men, men and men. We are meeting at one of my favorite places. I have a few. I apply my lipstick, brush my pony tail, click my shoes and get in my car. As I get to the place, I notice the street is empty. The town is empty like a ghost town from a Western movie. There are no people or cars around and it feels chilly out. I hesitate a minute and then park my car in a Loading Zone but I figure it is not being used since it is almost 6pm. I go in to meet my friend.

After a couple of hours, we kiss goodbye and I walk back to my car. And there it is!!!!! It is on the windshield of my car bright yellow and shining like Christmas lights . . . a F&$@%# parking ticket! When I see the $42 Loading Zone parking ticket, I think I literally screamed in my mind like Tarzan in the Jungle!! I thought what the #%$&!!! I wish I could have seen the person who wrote the ticket. I could have made Sushi out of him!

I do not know what it is about parking tickets but I hate them! I know, I know . . . I was too lazy to drive half a block more to avoid parking in a Loading Zone but I felt like nobody was around. It was late. It was 5:45pm for Christ’s sake! Where do these creatures come from that they suddenly come out of the shadows to write parking tickets? Are they skinny things hiding behind light poles and street signs? I did not see anyone but then boom. They come out of nowhere and write parking tickets.

If I ever have time in my busy schedule, I would like to write the Mayor and City Council to ask, “What are you guys doing to us!? Why are you making it so difficult and expensive in this place to find parking?” I know the city gets revenue from the parking meters. If I am correct, it is $1 million. (Do not quote me!!) I think if they made parking easier, people would come downtown more. The retail stores and restaurants would do more business if people did not have to go to so much trouble and expense to park. You do not have to be Einstein to know the tax revenue generated from more business would exceed the money from the parking meters!

There is something psychological about paying for parking that we do not like. Here we are going to a restaurant not wanting to pay $2/hr. for parking when our restaurant bill will be $50 or $60. Why do we dislike it so much? It is not exactly dislike. We hate so much to pay for parking?!!

I do not know why but I know I am not alone in this. We know you hate to pay for parking, too. So here at Goler when you come to shop with us, WE will PAY for your parking in the La Casa Sena lot behind the store.

Larry, the owner of Design Warehouse, on his own time goes around collecting money from the local stores so that for the two weeks before Christmas, parking is free for you. (Thank you, Larry, for all your hard work!)

I think I am going to therapy about this. In the meanwhile, Happy Holidays and come to Goler! We will pay for your parking with a purchase . . . anytime of the year.

If you live in this country, you have probably noticed the latest scandal about the movie producer Harvey Weinstein. A slew of actresses have stood up to him and now he’s involved in a whirl of sexual misconduct allegations.  Finally, right?!!  I have been asking myself, why now though?!  Everyone is reacting differently than other times- paying attention now.  But men using their power over women, in a sexual way, has been happening since the beginning of mankind.

When I was a young teenager I was going to school at night.  In order to pay for my schooling, I worked as a receptionist at a local car dealership.  I was quite proud to be paying for my own schooling.   My boss at the time, was a very powerful man in the car industry.  He would often make passes at me while I was simply doing my job as a receptionist- with no pressing aspirations to be the top receptionist (!!).  I didn’t particularly humor his attention- I neither engaged in it, nor did I get overly offended about it.  One thing that is not talked about is that women are SO OFTEN exposed to being objectified that it blurs into normality.  We often just shrug it off.

But men who behave this way _ it should be noted that NOT all men do this- don’t realize how we women see them.  I was sooooo young and he looked like a very old and decrepit man to me. I didn’t find him the least bit attractive but I’m sure he thought his money made him look like Brad Pitt! After several passes I did start to get creeped out to the point that one day I decided not to go back to work.

I have to confess something however.  This was back in the 70’s when mini skirts were all the rage and part of every woman’s wardrobe.  I wonder if I was too exposed?  Did I offer opportunity to be oogled, touched, and spoken to with “intention.”  This bothers me and yet I am judgmental about it myself.   Why can we not be sexualized… or on the other hand, why can we not enjoy our physicality without drawing negative sexual attention?  The 70’s was before the concept of “slut shamming” had even been brought to light.  For years I lived wondering if I set myself up for these unprofessional advances.  But really, should we women dress like nuns in order to be taken seriously or to protect ourselves from unwanted attention?  Come on.

If you truly got to know me you would see that I often make light of serious matters.  I think humor is a great way for us to get ideas across to ourselves or to others.  So let’s turn the tables here for a second!  Imagine that the fashion now for men was similar to the 1700’s when men would wear snug fitting tights that exposed all their jewels.  Am I allowed to say that?!  As a woman, would you not be able to help yourself from staring at them?  Would you whistle, or say something playful about their looks?  Imagine my customers calling my sales guys “darling” or “babe”!  Or maybe I have a male customer walk in wearing a Roman outfit, legs exposed, donning gladiator sandals and my sales girls would lasciviously try to sell him some shoes while her eyes traveled to every inch of his muscles.

That’s what it’s like!!!

Or alternately- women get pressured into sexual situations in order to gain favor for a job or a position, but then there are the women who are not “attractive” or “older” and are given NO opportunity based on their looks.  This is infuriating.

But I like to think that today is different from yesterday since women, we can speak out against this kind of behavior.  This doesn’t mean that anything changes or that anything will be done about it.  At the very least, we can stand our ground.  If it has to be a recognized, accomplished actress to speak out to make people take notice- so be it.  At least the media has found it interesting enough (for their ratings) that the attention gives us some combined power,  #MeToo!

I also think that times have changed because I know many men who do not fall into objectifying women.  I know men that take women seriously- in all ways.  They honor their femininity and they honor their intellectual equality and capacity.  I’m sure you know some of these men too.

I know this is a touchy subject, but I am sure everyone- men and women, are taking a moment to reassess certain behavior thanks to Harvey Weinsteins’s transgressions.

I’ll close this Pandora box for now and go open some shoe boxes!!

Share your thoughts with me at or visit my blog at and please leave a comment.

Guadalupe Goler

“Sonia Yolanda” was the name of my childhood best friend.  We were besties from elementary all the way through high school. We were attached at the hip, hanging out during school and lunch recess and then following up for some more camaraderie after school!  We would spend endless afternoons playing, talking, gossiping (depending our age) but always with the Beatles playing in the background.  Our time together went from playing with dolls to talking about who we were in love with.  We were also creative, we would write heartfelt love poems to our potential husbands- Paul McCartney was my fiancé, John Lennon was hers.   Both of us would spend our time fantasizing about how our wedding day was going to be like.  We would go into great details about what our wedding dress was going to look like- mine had a train-like veil that would cascade waaaay beyond me.  Of course I would wear beautiful high, sparkling heels. We would even determine how many layers our wedding cake would have and what flavor it would be.  Naturally, we would talk about where we would spend our honeymoon. However, details regarding about what we would do with our fiancé once the deal was sealed was all pretty benign… I think today’s tv commercials are way more racy than what our minds could ever muster.  We were so innocent.

Sonia and I also determined how many kids we would have- what gender they would be and what their names would be.  I started loving my kids while they were still stars in the sky.  It is hard to explain but they were ageless, faceless, genderless- but I knew that love was within me for them specifically since as long as I could remember.

And now poof!  One day I went to sleep and I woke up and all the wedding day, honeymoon, bedroom discoveries, kids all came to fruition!  Life just HAPPENED!  It seems (and feels) that it just all slipped past- like the cliché hour glass full of sand… It seems like it was all a dream!  But unlike a dream, it was all REAL.  And I have wonderful and heavy memories of all of it.

But there was one detail that Sonia and I never discussed and that was the rite of passage called “Becoming a Grandmother.”  I am not a new grandmother- I have four grandsons: Diego, 17, Raul, 13, Camilo, 13, and Joaquin, 11.  I absolutely love being a grandmother, and I am no common grandma by the way.  I do not wear a bun, I wear a Japanese churro;  I do not bake cookies for them, but I do take them for out for fancy dinners; I don’t knit their winter sweaters, but I do provide them with cash they need to get clothes J;  I used to tell them stories like a “classic” grandma, but now I try to give them financial advice and what I call “Abuela Talks.”  FYI, Abuela Talks are conversations that I have with them where I sneak in counseling advise and try to get them to talk to me about any of their concerns…. The trick to these talks is not letting them know or realize that we are getting to some nitty gritty info- the hope is that they walk away feeling loved and heard.

I have tried to put into words why this “grandmother” stage is so special.  When I ask other grandparents this question- why is it so satisfying, why is it so wonderful to be a grandparent?  The response usually is “Because you can enjoy them and then give them back to their parents.”  Well, I disagree with this.  I think it’s way more profound than that.  I try to articulate what I feel, it’s hard.  I think that I see my grandkids as an extension of myself- they carry my DNA- they are part of me- I am responsible for yet another generation on this planet.  But this time, I can do things for them that I didn’t have the maturity or wherewithal to do for my own kids.  Maybe I couldn’t do these things for my kids because 1) I was too busy making a living for us, 2) I was too preoccupied with my ex-husband and our drama, 3) I didn’t have the EXPERIENCE I do now.  As parents, you are certain things for your kids- as grandparents, you are and do something else for your grandkids.  It’s just the way the cookie crumbles.   When you become a grandparent, you have lived life and all its facets: love, loss, bliss, despair etc…  and then poof!  You have a certain peace in your heart that you just don’t have when you are parenting.  It’s a beautiful thing that this is how it works.  And because we have this love and heartfelt peace, we can impart that to the grandkids…. Even if they do make fun of our accents, or how we dress, or how we can’t use our iphones!

My grandkids are the cherry on top of this life cake I have…. I wish I were still in touch with Sonia to talk about this phase with her- I wonder if she still is in love with John Lennon?

Let me know who your Sonia Yolanda was in your life by emailing me at

Guadalupe Goler

I do not want to sound esoteric but sometimes I cannot help myself and I like to go there.t

The principal responsibility that we have in our life is to fulfill our OWN happiness.  No one can take care of this task for us nor can it be purchased online and delivered safely to our home. The great irony, speaking for myself, is that what makes me feel satisfied and happy is BEING A PART of someone else’s sense of satisfaction and happiness.  Well isn’t that complicated?  In fact, I can safely say that I sometimes neglect my own contentment because I’m determined in making my own “happy” imprint on someone else.

I am constantly soul searching . . . . and by soul searching I mean that I am trying to satisfy my sense of enlightenment.  Am I not as enlightened as I would like to be?  I should clarify that it’s not about a feeling of inadequacy but more about a desire to attain understanding of my place, myself and my surroundings.  I do know that I have some type of enlightenment! In my search for answers about life I have been turned on to watching videos about Quantum Physics. Can you picture me watching this??? No? Well, I DO!!!

Quantum Physics is so complex and interesting to me.  Do you understand Quantum Physics?  I have been trying to explain what I understand about it.   It is not easy . . . . but in my head and heart I feel that I am beginning to get it and believe in it.  The best I can do at describing it is that it can be understood as a physical, psychological and a spiritual way of seeing the world.

According to Jean-Fierre Garnier Mallet, a Quantum Physics theorist, he states,“ We are doubled in time and in space within the Doubling Period”.  I have been trying to wrap my head around this thought. “Doubling” as he refers to it, makes us live two different lives within the same time and in this way, give us the opportunity for foreseeing our best future and choosing the most opportune moment for each one of our actions.

When it comes to the spiritual aspect of Quantum Physics, I feel like a nine year old.  In fact I feel like a nine year old looking at a pornographic magazine. Shocked at what I’m trying to understand and reading information that I am not supposed to be reading about the Universe. Sometimes it confuses me and scares me. Do I have to throw away the belief system that I was raised with or my belief that I will become an Angel in heaven when I die?  Of course, an angel who wears beautiful red, 6-inch high heel stilettos.  Do not worry that they are so high they are going to kill me. I’m already dead.

Sometimes I wonder if I understand what these lectures are about? HA. HA. HA.  Not really!! But I believe that when I listen closely, my brain actually does process the information and I achieve at least my own sense of understanding. Each of our reality has different dimensions.  Mallet says,“ There is a superior entity, a divinity, le divin as we say in French that is worth thinking about, as are our feelings of wholeness, respect and love, if we can.”He mentions, “that nothing that we see is reality, that we create our own reality. Everything is made of Waves and also Particles.” What is even more compelling according to Quantum Physics is that nothing exists. It is all an illusion.”What we see is not actually true; we all have our own interpretation of what we see.” I like to listen to him because of the way he gives great lectures.

There is another physicist, a Spaniard by the name of Enric Corbera, that also ties into the world of Quantum Physics. During his lectures he constantly asks his students, “Are you following me?” I find myself talking back to my smart phone. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  I’m not following you at all but I’m still here!!”

Have you noticed how out of balance people have been after the eclipse by the way?  I’m speaking from real experience about myself and some of my friends!  HELLOOOO.  How much longer are we going to feel this? I don’t know about you but Gods or no Gods, my heart tells me to pray for this to pass. I’m a very positive person but I feel myself a little lost at this very moment. If you have any suggestions on how to get back into my normal Mexican self, please let me know.

The word quantum comes from the Latin word meaning “how much.” The hardest thing for me is to grasp the idea that one day the Universe will be a complete void.  Void is my least favorite word in the English language. If I have to describe who I am, I would say that I am the complete opposite of void. It makes me cringe when God or any beliefs that I have about my religion disappear. Just the way they talk about the physical Universe, they mention that it will disappear and the sun will lose its fuel. Can you imagine?! No more Sun, no more Planet, no more beautiful shoes, no more lovers?! This is a scientific fact.  You might wonder why I listen to these lectures. I keep listening to these complicated lectures with a scientific vocabulary (I hear them in Spanish) is because I find that it can be Quanta-Healing. It can be physical or psychological. In the second half of the 20th century Fritz Popp did some studies about the healing potential of Quantum Physics. I would like to heal my soul and my poor feet at the end of the day.

But I have the freedom to dismiss all this information. After all this information can all be irrelevant for me at this very moment. What matters at the present time is that I am at home in my bed eating popcorn enjoying myself. Tadaaaa!!!


Share your Quantum thought with me at or visit or blog at and please leave a comment.

Guadalupe Goler



For very personal reasons, I love the month of August. I love the way the word sounds, very breathy and sexy.  I love the even, round design of the number 8 (especially coupled with the number 20). I love the weather we get in Santa Fe during this month- cool, crisp mornings, hot sun in the middle of the day, overcast and cool in the afternoon, temperate in the evening…. Perfect for outdoor conversations.  I even love the history of the word “August” as it derives from the Latin word, “Augustus,” which means great and venerable.  It sounds so royal and important to me.   In fact, in 8 BC, the Roman State honored Augustus Caesar, the First Roman emperor, by changing the name of the month from “Sextilis” (the sixth month in the Julian calendar) to “Augustus,” (now known as the eighth month of the Gregorian calendar).  Ha!  Just a little history for you!

But I’ll be honest.  The real reason why I love the month of August is because it is when my birthday falls!  I am a Leo through and through after all!  I get to celebrate my birthday all month long which I often DO though it wasn’t always like that.  Sometimes I think I am making up for all the birthdays that I wasn’t able to celebrate as a child.  You see, when I was a kid we barely made note of birthdays in the family.  We couldn’t because there were too many of us!!

Still, not celebrating my birthday did NOT make me feel unwanted.  I knew that when the 20th of August came around, my parents were grateful and celebratory in their own way.  After my Mother’s second child, she had a miscarriage and the doctors told her that she would never have children again.  My parents continued trying (as you naturally do).   Being told they could have no more children made them desperately WANT to have more…. and poof, I was born!  My parents told me that they saw me as a miracle (I am a Leo) and that is why they named me Guadalupe after the Virgin Guadalupe.  Apparently, the doctors were wrong because my mother ended up having seven children total!  And believe it or not, we are ALL still alive.   I actually believe that is a miracle in and of itself!

I am not ashamed to say that I make a big deal out of my birthday!  Why not?!  I LOVE it!  I love receiving calls from all over the world from the people I love.  This fills me with warmth and joy.  I am not shy about it!  When my father was alive, he would always be the first to call me on the day of my birthday.  I loved it.  It would set the tone for the day!  After he passed away, my oldest sister took on that role of being the first to call and wish me goodness on my birthday.  I am always so grateful for everyone that takes the time to call me, share cake with me or even to take a shot of tequila with me on my birthday!  I am lucky.

Still, to this day, like anyone else . . . . there’s always that one person that I need to call me.   For some reason it means SO much to me to hear from this singular person and it can make or break my day if I don’t.  This person is my son.  He is my world!  Of course, he is.  That is what our kids are to us!  I can have all the celebration and companionship in the world but if my son is not there or not part of it, I cannot enjoy it as well.  Call it a Mexican thing if you want!  Ask any Mexican mother how she feels about her son calling on her birthday and she will say the same thing.  Until he calls, nothing else matters!  We are extremists maybe but we love our sons!

I remember one particular birthday, my son was living in Brazil and I was missing him very much.  I was anxiously waiting for his call.  Every time the phone would ring, I would drop everything thinking that it would be him on the other end.  Every time a bouquet of flowers was brought (Leo’s love flowers), I would open the card expecting a loving note from my son.  This birthday it was not him calling or sending flowers.  I waited, giving him time.  He was in Brazil after all and he did have a family he was attending to. I was patient.  He never did make himself apparent that day, but I clearly forgave him because I did not KILL him for not calling me!!!

The truth is that, of course, I forgave my son.  He was busy.  I am often number one on his list but I cannot always be even if we are Mexican!  We ALL get busy.  Important moments pass without celebration.  Were they that important?  What is meaningful?  Those who do show up?  Those who tried to be there?  Those who are always there but that one day they got wrapped up in their own lives?  I have matured in my thoughts and in my feelings (we eventually try to do that!) and in a sense I was very “young’” in my need to hear from my son that day.    He has his life.  He is doing his best at it.  He has (and on that day already had) his own two sons he was being present for.  He may not have not called me that day (nor sent me flowers nor a Mariachi to serenade me) but he was there for his own family.  In a way that is a gift in and of itself.

As I get older, even though it’s hard for a Leo, I TRY to be less self-centered and I try to be more of a centered self.   I try to be aware myself.  Am I being considerate with my own Mother or with my own siblings, kids and friends?  No, of course not.  I am not always the FIRST to call you on your birthday either.  I hope you forgive me.

I did make my son tattoo an 08/20 on his arm.

Just kidding!

Happy Birthday to me!  As always, please drop me a message telling me what your birthday means to you!

It deeply affects me when I hear about someone getting a divorce or breaking up from a long relationship.  When I hear this, I KNOW the person is going through a profound crisis.  Inevitably I go back to my own break-ups and I remember how people would talk to me.  They would look at me lovingly and sorrowfully saying, “I’m SO sorry.”  It would not be what I wanted to hear.   Instead they should have said, “Welcome to a new chapter in your life!!!”  Breakups and divorces whether romantic, work or friendship associated are always opportunities.  “What does the Universe have holding for me now?” It is helpful to remember that every relationship in our lives serves as a life lesson. Every single person who has passed through our lives has contributed to our growth.

When a relationship ends, our soul literally goes into a crisis mode. I imagine that if you were to take an X-ray of our soul when we are broken, it would be twisted and injured, swollen and hurt.  But when we are in love, I imagine that our souls undergo a similarly drastic change.  It glows.  It is warm and energetic.  Being in love is also like taking an irresistible cocktail of emotions…And I thought tequila was bad…

The Chinese character for the word CRISIS is composed by two words overlapping that describe the situation.   “In Every Crisis Lies the Seed of Opportunity.” We do feel overwhelmed and devastated with loss. The feelings that come to surface deeply hurt us. We only see the time WE have invested in this relationship but we seem to forget that our investment was done by the other party, too. The loss goes both ways.

This makes me think of an expression that I heard when I first moved here …. How does that expression go?  It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?  Yes, that’s it. That’s very much it!