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March 13, 2018 /
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13Mar2018

One thing that consoles me about getting older is that I have gathered wisdom with my age or at least I hope so!  Like all of us, years of situations and relationships have been great learning experiences and these learning experiences I take into my next situations or relationships.  We learn and gather information and then we try to keep only what is valuable and useful.  That is wisdom to me.  I also have learned that the only sure thing is that NOTHING IS FOR SURE!  Just when you think that the planets are aligning for you and things are going your way, you can blink your eyes and POOF! It all changes!  But the same happens when you think everything is NOT going your way. You might think that everything is going to hell and yet some miracle suddenly happens!

I have been thinking about how this goes for our romantic relationships, too!  Being in a relationship is like playing Russian Roulette.  You can put all your chips on one number and color and you see the ball bouncing around as the roulette spins. There it goes spinning fast.  You can’t really see the numbers but you do see the white ball moving from black to red from 10 to 4 to 16 until finally it stops on a totally different number and totally different color than you chose.  You lose all your chips.  If you are lucky, you are left with one last lucky chip. You feel miserable, lost and a loser. You put that single chip on a random number.  You feel hopeless.  And suddenly, VOILA!!!! You win and the house pays double and you start winning again!!

I love my life and I love my work.   My store gives me the opportunity to talk to so many people. I enjoy talking with couples and asking them how many years they have been married and, of course, I get all different numbers as you can imagine from 1 to 60. I like to ask these couples to reveal the recipe for a long and successful marriage.  You should see the facial expressions I get!  You would think that I am asking them what is going to be the next winning lottery number!

My personal theory about a good relationship is willingness. To me WILLINGNESS encompasses so much; willingness to be patient, willingness to forgive, willingness to be selfless etc. . . . Of course, I hear all the expected answers from couples: good communication, tolerance, open mindedness. We all know this.  However, I think there are a lot of other LOGICAL things that make for successful marriages or partnerships.  Here’s a list!

  1. Having your own bathrooms.
  2. Spending time and engaging with the other’s family.
  3. Enjoying the same restaurants or foods at home.
  4. Loving the same pet.
  5. Having an affinity for the other’s hygiene habits (or non-habits)!
  6. Equally seeing the importance of staying attractive for one another.
  7. Allowing the other to drive in peace with no passenger commentary!
  8. Happily participating in parties or movies or anything the other likes to do (even though the other one doesn’t particularly enjoy it)!
  9. Decide that if politics are discussed, make sure you are on the same page. Otherwise, don’t talk politics.
  10. Having the same moral values.
  11. Biting your tongue when your partner contradicts you in front of your kids.
  12. If one of you needs to talk, let that person talk even if you are fake listening for hours!
  13. If you are a shoe lover, always have enthusiasm for every new pair your partner brings home!

The list can go on and on. Will you help me to increase it?  Write me and let me know what yours are.

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February 26, 2018 /
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26Feb2018

I have been absolutely riveted by the winter Olympics this year in Korea.  For me, a walk down Canyon Road is an intense workout!! Honestly, I do not stress about it.  It is what it is.  At least I CAN walk!  I know that I have other talents!!
I love watching these amazing athletes. I wish I could spend one day in their shoes!  I would love to feel what it is like to train hard . . . to take myself to my most physical capacity . . . feel the win . . . feel the loss.  By the time these athletes are qualified to be in the Olympics they have had a whole life of dedication to their sport.  Even the fifteen year old Olympian has known the same kind of dedication as the 40 year old Olympian.

I love to admire the athlete’s look of determination; their fit bodies; the concentration they emit and the elegance and grace of each sport. Their bodies are truly a tribute to human kind.  Let’s remember the Greeks who strove for perfection in the human form.  They used athletes as models. For someone like me who appreciates beautiful design and fashion, I adore their hi-tech, slick sport suits and the aerodynamic eye protection they wear.

I have seen tiny women like the gold medal winning and petite Japanese 500 meter speed skater who just killed it with her fierceness on the ice.  I saw the American Bobsled Team walk away unscathed after their cart tilted at the speed of 80 MPH! When we saw them crash, the whole world held their breath until they stood up like nothing had happened. But the team that won my heart was the Jamaican Bobsled Team. You read it well: JAMAICA !!!!!!!!  I was so impressed by their story.  They had the drive, tenacity, faith and CREATIVITY to figure out how to do the sport even without the right facility or equipment!

I also find amusing that regardless of which country, gender or sport, all the athletes look like a mess when they remove their hi-tech head gear.  They are all sweaty and their hair is a mess and they are ALL worried about what their hair looks like!  LOL!  Of course, they were just putting 200% of themselves into their sport!!  (Maybe the figure skaters still look fine).  You can see them all preoccupied with fixing their hair even if they just won a gold medal – or lost one – they are all worried about their hair dos!!
But in this very diametrically opposite world, we have had extremely sad news.  The violence happening in our schools, innocent kids being gunned down.  It’s unbearable. The National Rifle Associate recorded a total of $11.7 billion earned last year with a $993 million PROFIT!  Like everyone else, especially the students themselves wish that this money was invested in sports and education for our youth. I must say that I am biased about this subject since I have my nieces in college and my grandchildren in the high schools. I’m just like YOU.  I want my children to be safe AND I want them to get the best education.

Right now there is a terrible environment of fear.  The kids are fearful going to school.  The parents fear sending their kids to school.  Just in New Mexico several schools have been receiving threats and everyone is terrified.

A couple of weeks ago, I was coming back from a business trip and as we were in line to board the plane, I had a quick glimpse of the news on the television. They were broadcasting a threat that was occurring in one of the universities in Florida. My heart stopped since my niece is at the University of Tampa!  But I was being pushed along to board the flight. Throughout the whole flight the worst thoughts came through my mind.  It seemed like an eternity before we finally landed and found out she was not in that particular university.

We have to live with this new reality…
I know it is too late for me to learn how to be a figure skater or a speed skater, bobsledder or slalom skier.  In the meantime, I will continue to admire them and wonder what it would be like to be in their shoes.  They might be wondering what it is like to have such an amazing shoe closet at their fingertips!!

I love hearing from you!  Guada755@gmail.com

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November 14, 2017 /
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14Nov2017

If you live in this country, you have probably noticed the latest scandal about the movie producer Harvey Weinstein. A slew of actresses have stood up to him and now he’s involved in a whirl of sexual misconduct allegations.  Finally, right?!!  I have been asking myself, why now though?!  Everyone is reacting differently than other times- paying attention now.  But men using their power over women, in a sexual way, has been happening since the beginning of mankind.

When I was a young teenager I was going to school at night.  In order to pay for my schooling, I worked as a receptionist at a local car dealership.  I was quite proud to be paying for my own schooling.   My boss at the time, was a very powerful man in the car industry.  He would often make passes at me while I was simply doing my job as a receptionist- with no pressing aspirations to be the top receptionist (!!).  I didn’t particularly humor his attention- I neither engaged in it, nor did I get overly offended about it.  One thing that is not talked about is that women are SO OFTEN exposed to being objectified that it blurs into normality.  We often just shrug it off.

But men who behave this way _ it should be noted that NOT all men do this- don’t realize how we women see them.  I was sooooo young and he looked like a very old and decrepit man to me. I didn’t find him the least bit attractive but I’m sure he thought his money made him look like Brad Pitt! After several passes I did start to get creeped out to the point that one day I decided not to go back to work.

I have to confess something however.  This was back in the 70’s when mini skirts were all the rage and part of every woman’s wardrobe.  I wonder if I was too exposed?  Did I offer opportunity to be oogled, touched, and spoken to with “intention.”  This bothers me and yet I am judgmental about it myself.   Why can we not be sexualized… or on the other hand, why can we not enjoy our physicality without drawing negative sexual attention?  The 70’s was before the concept of “slut shamming” had even been brought to light.  For years I lived wondering if I set myself up for these unprofessional advances.  But really, should we women dress like nuns in order to be taken seriously or to protect ourselves from unwanted attention?  Come on.

If you truly got to know me you would see that I often make light of serious matters.  I think humor is a great way for us to get ideas across to ourselves or to others.  So let’s turn the tables here for a second!  Imagine that the fashion now for men was similar to the 1700’s when men would wear snug fitting tights that exposed all their jewels.  Am I allowed to say that?!  As a woman, would you not be able to help yourself from staring at them?  Would you whistle, or say something playful about their looks?  Imagine my customers calling my sales guys “darling” or “babe”!  Or maybe I have a male customer walk in wearing a Roman outfit, legs exposed, donning gladiator sandals and my sales girls would lasciviously try to sell him some shoes while her eyes traveled to every inch of his muscles.

That’s what it’s like!!!

Or alternately- women get pressured into sexual situations in order to gain favor for a job or a position, but then there are the women who are not “attractive” or “older” and are given NO opportunity based on their looks.  This is infuriating.

But I like to think that today is different from yesterday since women, we can speak out against this kind of behavior.  This doesn’t mean that anything changes or that anything will be done about it.  At the very least, we can stand our ground.  If it has to be a recognized, accomplished actress to speak out to make people take notice- so be it.  At least the media has found it interesting enough (for their ratings) that the attention gives us some combined power,  #MeToo!

I also think that times have changed because I know many men who do not fall into objectifying women.  I know men that take women seriously- in all ways.  They honor their femininity and they honor their intellectual equality and capacity.  I’m sure you know some of these men too.

I know this is a touchy subject, but I am sure everyone- men and women, are taking a moment to reassess certain behavior thanks to Harvey Weinsteins’s transgressions.

I’ll close this Pandora box for now and go open some shoe boxes!!

Share your thoughts with me at guadalupegoler755@gmail.com or visit my blog at j4kicks.com and please leave a comment.

Guadalupe Goler

Fashion, Life Lessons, Lifestyle, Travel
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September 25, 2017 /
by
25Sep2017

I do not want to sound esoteric but sometimes I cannot help myself and I like to go there.t

The principal responsibility that we have in our life is to fulfill our OWN happiness.  No one can take care of this task for us nor can it be purchased online and delivered safely to our home. The great irony, speaking for myself, is that what makes me feel satisfied and happy is BEING A PART of someone else’s sense of satisfaction and happiness.  Well isn’t that complicated?  In fact, I can safely say that I sometimes neglect my own contentment because I’m determined in making my own “happy” imprint on someone else.

I am constantly soul searching . . . . and by soul searching I mean that I am trying to satisfy my sense of enlightenment.  Am I not as enlightened as I would like to be?  I should clarify that it’s not about a feeling of inadequacy but more about a desire to attain understanding of my place, myself and my surroundings.  I do know that I have some type of enlightenment! In my search for answers about life I have been turned on to watching videos about Quantum Physics. Can you picture me watching this??? No? Well, I DO!!!

Quantum Physics is so complex and interesting to me.  Do you understand Quantum Physics?  I have been trying to explain what I understand about it.   It is not easy . . . . but in my head and heart I feel that I am beginning to get it and believe in it.  The best I can do at describing it is that it can be understood as a physical, psychological and a spiritual way of seeing the world.

According to Jean-Fierre Garnier Mallet, a Quantum Physics theorist, he states,“ We are doubled in time and in space within the Doubling Period”.  I have been trying to wrap my head around this thought. “Doubling” as he refers to it, makes us live two different lives within the same time and in this way, give us the opportunity for foreseeing our best future and choosing the most opportune moment for each one of our actions.

When it comes to the spiritual aspect of Quantum Physics, I feel like a nine year old.  In fact I feel like a nine year old looking at a pornographic magazine. Shocked at what I’m trying to understand and reading information that I am not supposed to be reading about the Universe. Sometimes it confuses me and scares me. Do I have to throw away the belief system that I was raised with or my belief that I will become an Angel in heaven when I die?  Of course, an angel who wears beautiful red, 6-inch high heel stilettos.  Do not worry that they are so high they are going to kill me. I’m already dead.

Sometimes I wonder if I understand what these lectures are about? HA. HA. HA.  Not really!! But I believe that when I listen closely, my brain actually does process the information and I achieve at least my own sense of understanding. Each of our reality has different dimensions.  Mallet says,“ There is a superior entity, a divinity, le divin as we say in French that is worth thinking about, as are our feelings of wholeness, respect and love, if we can.”He mentions, “that nothing that we see is reality, that we create our own reality. Everything is made of Waves and also Particles.” What is even more compelling according to Quantum Physics is that nothing exists. It is all an illusion.”What we see is not actually true; we all have our own interpretation of what we see.” I like to listen to him because of the way he gives great lectures.

There is another physicist, a Spaniard by the name of Enric Corbera, that also ties into the world of Quantum Physics. During his lectures he constantly asks his students, “Are you following me?” I find myself talking back to my smart phone. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  I’m not following you at all but I’m still here!!”

Have you noticed how out of balance people have been after the eclipse by the way?  I’m speaking from real experience about myself and some of my friends!  HELLOOOO.  How much longer are we going to feel this? I don’t know about you but Gods or no Gods, my heart tells me to pray for this to pass. I’m a very positive person but I feel myself a little lost at this very moment. If you have any suggestions on how to get back into my normal Mexican self, please let me know.

The word quantum comes from the Latin word meaning “how much.” The hardest thing for me is to grasp the idea that one day the Universe will be a complete void.  Void is my least favorite word in the English language. If I have to describe who I am, I would say that I am the complete opposite of void. It makes me cringe when God or any beliefs that I have about my religion disappear. Just the way they talk about the physical Universe, they mention that it will disappear and the sun will lose its fuel. Can you imagine?! No more Sun, no more Planet, no more beautiful shoes, no more lovers?! This is a scientific fact.  You might wonder why I listen to these lectures. I keep listening to these complicated lectures with a scientific vocabulary (I hear them in Spanish) is because I find that it can be Quanta-Healing. It can be physical or psychological. In the second half of the 20th century Fritz Popp did some studies about the healing potential of Quantum Physics. I would like to heal my soul and my poor feet at the end of the day.

But I have the freedom to dismiss all this information. After all this information can all be irrelevant for me at this very moment. What matters at the present time is that I am at home in my bed eating popcorn enjoying myself. Tadaaaa!!!

 

Share your Quantum thought with me at Guada755@outlook.com or visit or blog at j4kicks.com and please leave a comment.

Guadalupe Goler

 

 

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